Some of the most entertaining days of my life

I owe a big thank you to Weiner for giving me the comic relief I’ve needed. Times are hard for so many of us and the daily (almost hourly) news is not good so, a little Weiner levity has been great. Everyone from Andrew Klavan to Andrew Breitbart provided some great laughs and one liners. I mean seriously, how can you pair any adjective with the name Wiener and it not be funny?

I also owe a thanks to the White House (and Drudge) for publishing the German state dinner menu:

STATE DINNER MENU DONE ON BUDGET:
White House Honey Gastrique
Tuna Tartare with Rye Crisps
Pickled Young Carrots and Mustard Oil
Spring Pea Salad
Shaved Ham and Ginger Snaps
Petite Filet
With Maryland Crab Ravioli
Wild Ramp Puree
Apple Strudel
Golden Raisins and Topfen

The One's state dinner place setting. Photo from CNN

I had to Wiki half this menu (or ask Jane who’s a food network fan) because I’m just not a cuisine expert. (She knew what Gastrique is. I thought it might be cow or sheep stomach. HA! Martha Stewart would be slapping me with her rubber spatula for that!)

Crock pot roast beef and baked potatoes is a fancy meal at our house. I have to wonder who’s budget this WH menu was based on. Petite filet (one thing on the menu I know about) is kinda pricey and a once a year treat for me. In fact, as a family tradition, we vote every year about our Christmas dinner and more times than not, we vote for steak (Porterhouse, T-bone or filet) because it’s such a rarity for us. And as a person with an Italian heritage, I can tell you crab ravioli is not something I’m familiar with. But it does sound good.

What is Wild Ramp Puree? It a “bed” of something from West Virginia, I do know that much.

All in all, this is not a menu that is friendly to MY budget. But it was semi-entertaining to discuss and research the menu items.

And again, all this frivolity in the news distracted me from some of the more unpleasant (1/3 of all employees will lose their employer-based health care) and scary (reports that Iran could have nukes in less than 6 months – what’s more scary than that?) news reports. Not that Weiner’s sexy (insert surprised emoticon here) online chat, isn’t news worthy – it is. But it was also the more fun times I’ve had reading online.

The surreal press conference that Weiner called on Monday when Brietbart upstaged him, was the BEST television since the debut of the trampoline bear on the Fox Report. It was stunningly hilarious and at the same time, made me feel proud of being a Breitbart fan. Seeing him at Weiner’s podium calling out the so-called “journalists” for being duplicitous and disingenuous (fancy words for being jerkweeds) was absolutely priceless!

I’ve been online for a long time and one thing I have learned is that there is only one type of man who posts penis pictures of himself: the kind of nerdy, inadequate, trying-to0-hard man that Weiner is. Don’t ask me how I know this because I’m not telling (insert red-faced emoticon here) and I’ve used no tax dollars in this research so I owe no one an explanation.

But in that regard, Weiner and his weiner are pathetic. I almost feel bad about laughing at his online sexcapades because I knew men (boys) like him in high school and college. He has some serious feelings of inadequacy that only his online braggadocio can seem to quash.

Sad.

But on the upside for me at least, we’ve not heard the last of Anthony’s Weinergate.

And okay, I admit it, my life is pretty dull.

I’ll leave you with Andrew Klavan’s description of Weiner – “Physically, he’s a dead ringer for a turtle that’s been pulled out of its shell.”

Gulf oil spill spells major inconvenience for the White House that still finds time for a party or 2

Remember that state dinner at the White House with Caldaron? Try and do a google image search and you will find NO pictures of it. I bet you can guess why there are no pictures of it.

You can, however, go here and see more than a dozen official photos. And they ought to disgust you.

After the “official” state dinner, these big shots were shuttled (in trams) to a tent like no other. God forbid these folks actually walk there. But tent is really a misnomer. It was a portable disco club, replete with an actual dance floor and laser lighting for the top-notch entertainment which included Beyonce.

There’s a photo of Obama and the missus, dancing together. I’ve seen him dance on the Ellen show. As a dancer, he stinks. There’s another photo that to me, appears to be staged of Obama preparing to kiss Michelle.

Indeed, this was a night to remember.

Right on the heels of this was the celebration of the Gershwin awards. Paul McCartney was being honored. I guess we don’t have enough talented and great Americans who qualify so we had to bring in a British Bush basher to honor.  His classless and unnecessary comments were cheered in the White House but it was the British press who quizzed over Paul’s past face lifts.

McCartney and Obama/Gershwin Award

The First Family had a front row seat in the dream concert of a lifetime: a Beatle and Stevie Wonder in your own family room. What more could you wish for?

The extravagance of this White House while oil is gushing into the Gulf of Mexico is disgusting.  Obama wanders the coast and picks up tar balls for photo-ops and then goes home to party with his elitist friends.

If a picture is worth a thousand words, this one is worth a million:

AP photo

This picture is worth a million words that I don’t have. This breaks the heart of all America. But nothing compares to what those people and creatures are suffering on the gulf coast. These people are without their livelihoods with families to feed.  A family night out for these folks, just like for us, is not a state dinner or a private concert with Paul McCartney. And now a family night out does not exist for most of them.

A job does not exist for  most of them.

But the president can party like it’s 1999 and golf every Sunday with no thought to what’s happening anywhere else.

His response?
“Just plug the damned hole.”

We all wish it were so easy, Mr. Too-cool-to-be-Bothered. We realize it’s an inconvenience for you. It’s no picnic for the gulf residents or for the rest of America, either.

The difference is that while our hearts break and many suffer, you’re cuttin’ a rug and clinking crystal.

You big jerk.