Study says people only happy 13 seconds a day – but that’s because they live in Berkeley

BERKELEY, CA—A study published in the latest issue of the Journal Of Social Sciences revealed that the amount of time spent being happy has dropped to an all-time low of 13 nonconsecutive seconds per day. “According to our data, the average American experiences a 0.8-second window of happiness upon awakening, before remembering that they’re conscious beings in a relentlessly bleak and numbing world,” said Dr. Derek Moore, lead author of the paper. “Other periods of happiness include 1.9 seconds after a good meal; 0.6 seconds upon receiving a paycheck; 1.1 seconds following completion of a scientific study; and the 2.5 seconds approaching orgasm, just before the guilt sets in.” Researchers also recorded the smallest period of contentment yet, a 3.7-millisecond interval preceding the realization that one was experiencing happiness and that it could not possibly last.

2 responses to “Study says people only happy 13 seconds a day – but that’s because they live in Berkeley

  • ClassicFilm

    Liberals are HAPPY???

    Who knew? With all their whining, Bush-blaming, snarking, backstabbing, lying, mocking, maligning, more whining, more Bush-blaming… praise the Lord that they’ve managed to eke out a modicum of happiness. And this 13 seconds is with a progressive-socialist in the Oval Office, a statist Democrat majority in the House, a statist Democrat majority in the Senate.

    No wonder these poor miserable souls went into a Wicked-Witch-of-the-West meltdown when GWB was in office.

  • Jim

    Well what can I say Rox, the article was written for liberals for liberals. Thirteen seconds a day? If I were one of them I’d cut it to six seconds, they live in a parallel universe. For me watching a child play in the fountains at the local mall and photographing them take 3 minutes, to see the colors of the sunrise behind my mountain, pinks oranges, reds, 4 minutes, to hold my granddaughter in my arms telling her stories, and singing her songs, 1o minutes, to be happily married to a wonderful beautiful woman 24-7 unless we are at war, LOL. To dive and photograph the oceans of people all over the world, days, I could go on but suffice to say another useless study funded by tax dollars about the woeful existence of the liberal mind could it be any different? Their only possible joy might come from knowing that are wasting money of the U.S. taxpayer, sounds like sixteen seconds to me, but I’m just J.C.

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